Hi, I'm new here

Updated: Feb 14, 2020

Although, I've been at this for what feels like forever, I'm still new to this and trying to figure it out myself

I've been parenting for six years. In a recent, Instagram story my college friend Jill (from Jill comes Clean) posted about a worry she was overthinking as a first time mom. Those words, "first time mom" hit home. I was reminded that I am still a first time mom, too. And when I told her that I sometimes forget that I am a first time mom, too, she said something that is so true, "as if time makes us less of a first time mom."

Bryce has has had some behavioral issues at school and some learning challenges as well - nothing major. All things considered, they aren't the end of the world. And they'll get figured out. But I get in my own head about it and I often take it out on him in form of pushing extra school work on him or grounding him every day or yelling at him - especially on the days when the Neuro-fatigue hits extra hard. Then, I get down on myself and my parenting by thinking that I'm not doing a good enough job, that he's behavior is my fault, and that takes a toll on me for the rest of the day or even week.

You see, I forget that I SHOULDN'T HAVE ALL THIS FIGURED OUT! Six is new for me, just as one was and two and three, and seven and eight will be - and even eighteen will be and every age here on out. And this is all new for him too. He started out as a spanking-new, shinny human in November 2013 and he's still new at this. He doesn't have this figured out anymore than I do.

"As if time makes us less of a first time mom."

If We're new to something, we are new! We are all trying to figure it out as we go along. And that goes for my recovery and being a survivor, too. I've never had this happen to me before. I've never had to recover from anything so dramatic before and I've never had to be a survivor of anything - I've never even watched the show!

I'm sorry, but I'm new here. All I can do is learn from my experiences and share my knowledge with all who would like to read it, in hopes that you feel comforted and seen.

So I will continue to take these lemons and make them into killer lemon drop martinis to share with all of you... or into lemonade if that's more your speed.

Love and triumph to all.

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